the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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