Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
