Nicole vs. Life
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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