Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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