Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
