when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
