what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize