Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
