he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
whose parrot is this?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
