I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
