I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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