Can Purell be used as lube?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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