His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
