That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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