Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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