Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
