You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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