Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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