Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
