Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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