The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
