I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
