Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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