You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
