Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
