break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm really busy with my period
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