PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
