That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
