You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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