was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
