he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was like eating out sand paper
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
