she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
