A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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