Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
