Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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