He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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