FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
