You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
