hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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