We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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