I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I need to calm my uterus...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
