i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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