some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
