He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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