I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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