it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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