so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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