I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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