Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
