i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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